Altered Perception

Today Shelly and I went tripping down the road to a friends' house for a little Oktoberfest celebration. We had a grand time. When were invited I fired up my computer and went searching for a snappy outfit to wear. I'm all about the snappy outfits. I found a couple of t-shirts that I thought would fit the bill. I purchased shirts for both us in the same size. I figured that Shelly would be thrilled with a new shirt no matter what it looked like. Turns out that wasn't the case. The following is a picture of the shirt from an ad. I'm rather hairy but thankfully don't have arms like that. Shelly declined to wear the shirt so I had to stuff myself into it. I did get some looks and double takes as well as comments. It would have been so much more fun if Shelly had the ovaries to take on the challenge.



Shelly was introduced to Bocce ball and turned out to be pretty good for a beginner. She did manage to tame her competitive side and remained in the game until the end. Had she not kept her competitive nature in check we might have had to leave via ambulance because her cranium had come in contact with the balls, repeatedly. Thankfully the combination of great food, beer, sunshine and friends kept her safe. As we were leaving the topic of pesky skunks came up, and then Shelly's opinion of how I portray her in the blog followed. Shelly doesn't read the blog(s) or any comments I make about her on Facebook. She only hears comments from others. I personally have not heard any negative comments only those poking fun at her. She seems to think I make her out to be the butt of joke. I have no idea how she would get that idea. I think I'm pretty true to the events that I retell. Still Shelly seems to think otherwise.


So all jokes and sarcasm aside, let me tell you about my Shelly. Shelly and I met six years ago in Colorado Springs. I told her I was looking for a beneficial friendship as I was in total "me" mode, a workaholic, and no interested in "dating." She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Okay."

It took her more than a month to sign the "contract." I appreciate that fact now. It only took her about a month more to screw up the nice little bundled, no stings agreement too. On November 5th, 2005, Shelly attended the EMS Conference in Keystone CO. She went out of a Saturday night, drank a few too many beers, came back to her hotel room and drunk dialed me. I spent two hours in the Safeway parking lot in Pueblo West CO, listening to her tell me how she was not cut out for a "beneficial friendship". Truth be told neither was I. So we now mark our anniversary date as the 5th of November, even though neither of us was in the same place that first year.



Shelly is completely outside the lines of my type of woman. She doesn't wear dresses or makeup, she can't cook unless it's ready to eat after 3 minutes in the microwave, she's an animal hoarder, and her idea of a happening Saturday night is watching the movie Bad Boys for the millionth time. (Hate that movie)

She loves Christmas and patiently endures my tirades about the over-commercialized, pseudo, religious holiday. Compared to my, she has a relatively small family. She's only a few cousins and hasn't seen them in years. I have many, many cousins. My father's side of the family is rather large and although I don't like to label them (because the only label that fits is AWESOME) they are somewhat conservative. I can't think of another gay person in my entire extended family. Shelly walked right into the gaggle of Norwegians that make up the Dagues with her head up, like she had always been a part of the clan. She's had to endure too many many funerals for my family including that of my father.


She has also meshed with my chosen family quite well. She's attended Sunday morning breakfasts at Mama Nell's house, made Christmas cookies, and eats Richie Family tacos with gusto.


She took me to Florida and Disney World and even though she went out of her way to avoid every roadside attraction that I had my heart set on, she did spend way too much money at Sea World on food for the sting rays. She took me fishing in the dark and didn't grumble much when I had to make a stop for ribs in Williamsburg, KS on the way home. Since we've too many ranch chores to tend to now she's had to resort to making everyday an adventure instead of taking vacations.




She enables my obsession with Halloween and helps add special touches to the kiddo's costumes. Without Shelly's help the Cavity Sam from the Operation Game would have been a total flop. She consumes her body weight in chocolate each year too.





She heats up my water bottle just right when I'm dealing with the ENDO Goddess and brings me tea. She not only allows me to dabble in offbeat projects but most times helps with them. She works extremely hard to provide our family with many wonderful things, mostly animals but many wonderful animals. She doesn't get too upset when I outplay her on the links. She tells everyone I'm smart and doesn't mind that I'm carrying around a bit too much happy fat. She's beautiful and only smiles when I make fun of her age or her gray hair. She samples my crazy recipes even though I may slip some onions or garlic in them.


So even though, when I met her six years ago I placed her outside the box of "my type" it turns out that she fits perfectly.