I've been looking for a new cow for a bit of time now. My Jersey is doing great but the demand for raw milk shares in my area has escalated. Since I'm already milking one cow, a goat and the occasional sheep I figured I could handle another cow. I have two Jersey heifers but they are not yet old enough to breed. So...I put out an alert on Craigslist. About two days after I posted my ad, I got a call from a gentlemen who had a Holstein for sale. He said that he had read my ad and that he was located in Nordakota. (That's North Dakota for those that don't speak Scandahoovian.) He went on to say that I would have to drive up 'dare' to Nordakota and check her out. "Really?" I asked. He said, "Ya, dats right, I can't sell ya dis here cow if ya don't like her."
So I zipped on up to North Dakota. Ivan, the farmer took me out to his barn full of beautiful milking cows. He pointed out the cow for sale and invited me to get a feel for her. I sat on the stool, and gave a teat a yank. The teat released a flow of white milk, but the cow farted too. I tried again, on another teat. Same thing, good milk flow and a fart. I tried the other two teats, with the same result. I dickered with Ivan on the price of the cow and in the end decided she's was good deal even if she's a gassy girl. I thanked Ivan and leave Nordakota. No big whoop right? I get the cow home and invite my neighbor from down the road to check out the new addition to the barn. Jacob is a fan of milkers too and has a couple of Brown Swiss. He's from Minnesota and I thought it would be enjoyable to chat about Scandahoovians, and milk cows. I love to hear Jacob talk, he talks just like the farmer Ivan I purchased the cow from. At any rate I invited Jacob over. His first order of business was to check out the cow. He sat down on the stool, gave a teat a squeeze. The cow gave out a fart and milk squirted from her teat. Jacob got up, then turned to me and asked, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?" . I was shocked! I said that I had and asked him how he knew as I hadn't told him. He replied,"My wife is from Nordakota."
Okay, I didn't really get a new cow, but I couldn't help but adapt this joke a little.
For my Uncle Dennis...May you always have a sassy, gassy girl about to tell jokes to. RIP
and to Aggie....I can't imagine what you feel. I'm so thankful that you were there to listen and to love. If you ever need to hear a bad joke, please look me up!